Trigger Warning: Uterine Rupture, Near Maternal & Fetal Death, Postpartum Mood Disorders
You get the positive pregnancy test; those two lines that will change the trajectory of your life. For most, this is accompanied with feelings of anticipation, joy, & excitement.
You plan throughout your pregnancy how you’d like labor to go. For me, I did. I prayed. I fasted. I sought the Lord about what I preferred for this labor and birth to be. He met me where I was and truly loved on me!
I hired a doula, worked out daily, and prepared mentally for what labor could look like.
Labor began on a Friday and I was oh so excited! If you’ve read my blog post about Birth Trauma and Potential PPMDS, you know the story. If you haven’t… basically, during labor, my uterus ruptured and both my daughter’s and my life were in danger.
For me, birth was portrayed as a joyous and miraculous event, but for many mothers, myself included, the experience can be marred by trauma. This trauma can encompass physical injury to the mother and/or baby, as well as psychological and emotional distress. This trauma can have long-lasting effects on a mother’s well-being, impacting her mental health, her relationship with her baby, and her overall quality of life. Understanding birth trauma and recognizing how many mothers are at risk is crucial for providing better support and care during the perinatal year.
Let’s dive into what exactly is birth trauma. This topic can refer to physical injuries that occur during childbirth, such as perineal tears, excessive bleeding, or emergency interventions. More commonly, it refers to the psychological impact of a traumatic birth experience. This can include feelings of loss of control, fear for one’s life or the baby’s life, and feelings of helplessness or betrayal. Factors that can contribute to birth trauma include:
Unexpected complications: Emergency C-sections, shoulder dystocia, use of forceps or vacuum, or severe hemorrhage.
Lack of support: Feeling unsupported by healthcare providers or your support system.
Negative interactions: Perceived or real negative interactions with medical staff or peers.
Loss of control: Feeling powerless or ignored during the decision-making process.
Pain management issues: Inadequate pain relief or unexpected reactions to pain relief methods.
As a result of what happened in labor, I fell into undiagnosed postpartum mood disorders. Now that I am on the other side, I can see I had rage, anxiety, PTSD, OCD, intrusive thoughts and potentially postpartum psychosis. I was angry! Angry that this happened, angry at God that He allowed this to happen, angry at my baby because if she hadn't come along none of this would've happened. I truly was probably angry at the world. I was trying to figure out how to parent 5 children, while simultaneously heal both physically and mentally from this trauma. Thankfully, I am 5 years past this experience and I now look back on it with gratitude and peace of all the Lord did to save not only my life, but the life of my daughter. His hand is littered throughout the process!
It’s become my mission as a doula to offer support to families who have a pervious history of trauma, or equip them with the information needed to make informed decisions so, in turn, they feel autonomous, and supported throughout the perinatal year.
Tune in next week when we dive deeper into this topic. We’ll discuss how many new mothers are at risk, how to recognize the signs, and how to offer support when a mama is struggling.
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